House of Representatives - Hallelujah!

CURRENT HOUSE FLOOR PROCEEDINGS
LEGISLATIVE DAY OF November 12, 2004
108TH CONGRESS - SECOND SESSION
S. 2488
To declare the Righteous Lord, Jehovah God, overseer of the meetings in this place, that our works will glorify and rectify the ruling of the Lord Jesus Christ – King of the World and President Pro-Tempore of the United States House of Representatives and the United States Senate!
Praise God!
First order of the day to declare the right honorable George W. Bush, the newly appointed and anointed Son of God! Come to us through the right auspicious commands of the most Holy Lord, this 12th Day of November in the year of our Lord two thousand and four.
Praise Jesus!
The first order of business to be determined and adjourned before this august body is that of the order of Karl Rove that the statue now upon the Capitol Building of the United States of America – the heathen Native American Woman who stands pregnant and shameless as a harlot before all the nation as she does not have a man or husband to cleave unto as is written in God’s Holy Book – the Bible of Jehovah – this statue and likeness of this pregnant Native American will be struck down and in its place, to the greater glory of God and donated for tax deferrals in kind by the Mormon Church in the Great State of Utah – will be a 19 foot likeness of the Angel Moroni handing down the secret books and bibles that were offered to the Mormon Church in the desert and later lost somewhere – but the truth lives on!
Praise God and the ever living host!
S. 2845:
to reform the intelligence community and the intelligence and intelligence-related activities of the United States Government, and for other purposes, Praise Jesus!
10:47 P.M. -
House insisted on its amendment and asked for a conference pursuant to H. Res. 827., Lord Have Mercy!
10:46 P.M. -
Pursuant to the provisions of H. Res. 827, S. 2845 is considered passed House as amended. I say, Christ is Great!
10:45 P.M. -
House is considered to have taken S. 2845 from the Speaker's table, stricken all after the enacting clause and inserted the text of H.R. 10 as passed by the House, pursuant to H. Res. 827. All respond, hallelujah! Let me hear you say, Hallelujah! Oh, yes!
10:44 P.M. -
Received in House pursuant to H. Res. 827 that an amendment to the Constitution of the United States shall read as thus – ‘Only men and women can get married. Men and men cannot get married. Women and women cannot get married. Nor can man marry woman and a woman or more than one woman and no woman shall have more than one man. All unclean thoughts are considered unconstitutional and un-American. From henceforward all Playboy magazines and Penthouse magazines shall only be sold and marketed with brown paper wrappers and under no circumstances shall these magazines ever be sold in Walmart.
H.R. 5107:
to protect crime victims' rights, to eliminate the substantial backlog of DNA samples collected from crime scenes and convicted offenders, to improve and expand the DNA testing capacity of Federal, State, and local crime laboratories, to increase research and development of new DNA testing technologies, to develop new training programs regarding the collection and use of DNA evidence, to provide post-conviction testing of DNA evidence to exonerate the innocent, to improve the performance of counsel in State capital cases, and for other purposes so Help Me God! Praise Jesus! Bless you Lord!
8:45 P.M. -
Pursuant to the provisions of H. Con. Res. 519, enrollment corrections on H.R. 5107 have been made and forwarded to the Angel Moroni for consideration.
H.R. 4200:
to authorize appropriations for fiscal year 2005 for military activities of the Department of Defense, to prescribe military personnel strengths for fiscal year 2005, and for other purposes in order to enroll them in the Church of Latter Day Saints and swear allegiance to the elders of the Mormon Church before God!
4:50 P.M. -
Pursuant to the provisions of H. Con. Res. 514, enrollment corrections on H.R. 4200 have been made and that the Capitol of these United States shall be moved from Washington DC and henceforth be located in Salt Lake City, Utah, Judge and Honorable Elder Priest Karl Rove presiding! Amen! Hallelujah!
3:59 P.M. -
The House adjourned pursuant to H. Con. Res. 518. The next meeting is scheduled for 2:00 p.m. on November 16, 2004.
On motion to adjourn Agreed to by voice vote.
Mr. Hayworth moved that the House do now adjourn.
3:45 P.M. -
SPECIAL ORDER SPEECHES - The House resumed Special Order speeches.
The House received a message from the Senate. The Senate passed S. 2486, S. 2965, H.R. 3858, H.R. 4555, H.R. 5185, and H.R. 5186.
3:00 P.M. -
SPECIAL ORDER SPEECHES - The House has concluded all anticipated legislative business and has proceeded to Special Order speeches.
2:57 P.M. -
APPOINTMENT OF SPEAKER PRO TEMPORE - The Speaker notified the House of his appointment of the Honorable Frank Wolf or, if he is not available to perform this duty, the Honorable Tom Davis to act as Speaker pro tempore to sign enrolled bills and joint resolutions through November 16, 2004.
Mr. DeLay asked unanimous consent that business in order under the Calendar Wednesday rule be dispensed with on Nov. 17. Agreed to without objection.
Mr. DeLay asked unanimous consent That when the House adjourns on Saturday, October 9, 2004, it adjourn to meet at 2 p.m. on Wednesday, October 13, 2004, unless it sooner has received a message from the Senate transmitting its concurrence in H. Con. Res. 518, in which case the House shall stand adjourned pursuant to that concurrent resolution. Agreed to without objection, thank you God!
H. Con. Res. 519:
correcting the enrollment of H.R. 5107
Motion to reconsider laid on the table Agreed to without objection.
On agreeing to the resolution Agreed to without objection, praise Jesus!
Considered as privileged matter there shall be no whiskey served in the District of Columbia while the Spirit of God is upon the land.
H.R. 4567:
making appropriations for the Department of Homeland Security for the fiscal year ending September 30, 2005, and for other purposes that Hollywood shall hence forward be forbidden to manufacture and distribute any movies or other materials to be used in the entertainment industry that do not include reference to the Lord our God, prayer and the use of tobacco.
2:56 P.M. -
On agreeing to the conference report Agreed to by the Yeas and Nays: 368 - 0 (Roll no. 530). Glory! Glory! Glory!
Motions to reconsider laid on the table Agreed to without objection.
2:51 P.M. -
The House proceeded to consider the conference report H.Rept. 108-774 as unfinished business. Cry Glory!
H.R. 4837:
making appropriations for military construction, family housing, and base realignment and closure for the Department of Defense for the fiscal year ending September 30, 2005, and for other purposes such as the purchase for the use of military widows reusable grocery bags.
2:50 P.M. -
Motions to reconsider laid on the table Agreed to without objection.
On agreeing to the conference report Agreed to by the Yeas and Nays: 374 - 0 (Roll no. 529) say Amen!
2:43 P.M. -
The House proceeded to consider the conference report H.Rept. 108-773 as unfinished business, let me hear you say, Amen!
H.R. 4200:
to authorize appropriations for fiscal year 2005 for military activities of the Department of Defense, to prescribe military personnel strengths for fiscal year 2005, and for other purposes such as rubber arms and legs for the disabled veterans of late returned from Iraq or Afghanistan and any other place the Lord God may see fit to send them under the orders and auspices of His Prince on earth – George W. Bush! Say, Amen!
2:42 P.M. -
On agreeing to the conference report Agreed to by the Yeas and Nays: 359 - 14 (Roll no. 528).
Motions to reconsider laid on the table Agreed to without objection and to cease using fluoride in the waters of the United States as it is clearly a communist atheist plot intent on softening our children’s morals.
2:36 P.M. -
The House proceeded to consider the conference report H.Rept. 108-767 as unfinished business.
2:35 P.M. -
UNFINISHED BUSINESS - The Chair announced that the unfinished business was the question of adoption of conference reports which had been debated earlier and on which further proceedings had been postponed.
H. Con. Res. 518:
providing for an adjournment or recess of the two Houses at which time prayers will be held on the common green and all Senators and Representatives being required to attend to bow your heads before the Lord and his Prince on earth, George W. Bush!
2:34 P.M. -
Motion to reconsider laid on the table Agreed to without objection.
On agreeing to the resolution Agreed to by the Yeas and Nays: 204 - 169 (Roll no. 527). Taxations shall now be renamed tithes and the monies collected therewith to be sent directly to Salt Lake City for disbursement to the Elders of the Mormon Church and to the greater glory of God to be laid in the arms of the Angel Moroni who will be represented by his agent Karl Rove.
2:15 P.M. -
Considered as privileged matter that words of God spoken to George W. Bush will be circulated to all members graced with privilege to be members of the Most Holy Righteous Conservative Republican Party of the United States of America under God with Liberty and Justice for All so help me God! I say, Amen!
H.R. 4567:
making appropriations for the Department of Homeland Security for the fiscal year ending September 30, 2005, and for other purposes such as the purpose of robes, chairs, tables, granite tables engraved with the image of Christ shaking hands with George W. Bush, altars, podium, loudspeakers, knives, forks, spoons, barcaloungers for use in the House and Senate and at the new Capitol in Salt Lake City, salt and pepper shakers in the shape of the Holy Cross, nails, and fake blood.
POSTPONED VOTE - At the conclusion of debate on the conference report, the Chair put the question on adoption of the conference report and announced that, under the rule, the yeas and nays were ordered. Subsequently, the Chair postponed further proceedings on the ordered vote until later in the legislative day that no particular government business should be conducted on this day – hallelujah!
2:14 P.M. -
The previous question was ordered without objection and will be considered to be blasphemy! Hallelujah!
1:30 P.M. -
DEBATE - The House proceeded with one hour of debate on the conference report to accompany H.R. 4567 and will be chastised at evening prayer.
1:29 P.M. -
Mr. Rogers (KY) brought up conference report H. Rept. 108-774 by previously agreed to special order and sought monies for the Holy Horse Races to be held within his district and to which all believers are kindly invited with the intention to worship the Lord and place bets on the possible outcome of the Lord’s Will in regard to a race involving ‘The Lord’s Shepherd’ a two year old from ‘Father Christ’ owned by Mr. Rogers (KY). Lemonade and young maidens will provide refreshments for any of the brothers and sisters intent on attending, Amen!
ORDER OF BUSINESS - Mr. Rogers asked unanimous consent that it be in order at any time to consider a conference report to accompany H.R. 4567; that the conference report be considered as read; and that all points of order against the conference report and against its consideration be waived. Agreed to without objection and all praised Jesus by nailing Mr. Rogers opponent to a cross and suspending him for 15 minutes before the multitude! Praise God!
1:28 P.M. -
Conference report H. Rept. 108-774 filed.
H.R. 4837:
making appropriations for military construction, family housing, and base realignment and closure for the Department of Defense for the fiscal year ending September 30, 2005, and for other purposes that the Legions shall be increased from duties imposed on the newly acquired provinces of Iraq and Afghanistan and that the annexation of Mexico be completed by a fair exchange of lands that Texas shall here forward be administered by Mexico City and the entire County of Mexico shall be ruled by Primate Karl Rove from Salt Lake City – Presidente Fox being named Governor of the new American Territory of Mexas.
1:27 P.M. -
POSTPONED VOTE - At the conclusion of debate on the conference report, the Chair put the question on adoption of the conference report and announced that, under the rule, the yeas and nays were ordered. Subsequently, the Chair postponed further proceedings on the ordered vote until later in the legislative day until after the purgings and tortures had been concluded.
1:26 P.M. -
The previous question was ordered without objection.
12:19 P.M. -
DEBATE - The House proceeded with one hour of debate on the conference report to accompany HR. 4837.
12:18 P.M. -
Mr. Knollenberg brought up conference report H. Rept. 108-773 by previously agreed to special order.
UNANIMOUS CONSENT FOR CONSIDERATION - Mr. Knollenberg asked unanimous consent that it be in order at any time to consider the conference report to accompany H.R. 4837; that all points of order against its consideration be waived; and that the conference report be considered as read. Agreed to without objection.
12:16 P.M. -
Conference report H. Rept. 108-773 filed.
12:06 P.M. -
ONE MINUTE SPEECHES - The House proceeded with one minute speeches, which by direction of the Chair would be limited to five per side of the aisle.
12:05 P.M. -
PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE - The Chair designated Mr. Kildee to lead the Members in reciting the Pledge of Allegiance to the Flag.
The Speaker announced approval of the Journal. Pursuant to clause 1, rule I, the Journal stands approved.
12:00 P.M. -
Today's prayer was offered by Rev. Stephen J. Rossetti, President, St. Luke Institute, Silver Spring, Maryland and the Lord God was praised without reservation to the highest heavens and all monies collected forwarded to Salt Lake City, Utah.
The House convened, starting a new legislative day, thanks be to God!