Soliloquy

George W. Bush's Soliloquy
By
[Throwing down papers which he has been leafing through and excitedly reaches for some pretzels in a bowl; smacks the table with open flat hands knocking over a can of beer precariously perched on the edge of the table which spills to the floor; lets off steam by calling on God to punish his enemies under his breath, repentantly drops his head and kisses the picture of Billy Graham that is miraculously still standing in the center of the table. Along with the kisses he mumbles for forgiveness and asks for strength; presently coughs up a piece of pretzel stuck in his throat, stands up, red faced and walks up and down the room with his hands clasped behind his back in the manner of Nixon.
By Golly!!! By Gee!!! If I had them right here in front of me! [Quickly looks at the picture of Billy Graham, and stops] In these twenty years I have spent millions to keep the press quiet, and still they get information. I have sued every person that so much as breathed a word against me and yet they keep coming. I have arranged for millions – even billions to be tithed over to religion from the Federal Government and what do I get back? Not a thing. Not a ounce of appreciation. Of course – I have encouraged these folks to underestimate me but by now they should get it. I’m in command here. I’m the ruler. I’m the President dispensing freedom and liberty to the people. This generous behavior is ignored in newspapers, on the radio and television. Of course – my followers don’t read the newspapers because they think I don’t – but I have to get across to the others – the ones that won’t listen. In the newspapers I get nothing but slander – I know most of them are true – but in a court of law my enemies usually settle or I’ll take everything they own. I’ve done it before. But these are now slanders against the right head of the free world. The leader of the most powerful nation on earth. Don’t they know that makes me the most powerful man on earth? Don’t they know as my followers do that I am untouchable?
Hoodlums - they are detailing it all! How I went to the Senate and demanded war powers I already had. About how much money has been spent to pack the House of Representatives and how much more has been spent to influence those already there. Questions about Senator Wellstone from Minnesota and the airplane. They talk about how I went to the UN and to world leaders with talk of peace and liberty and freedom in my mouth in order to get a UN resolution to attack Iraq – for its own good and the cause of freedom in the world. How I begged the leaders of this nation to allow me to invade Iraq to make the world a safer place so that I might hunt down and destroy terrorism where it lived and raise up the 18 million Iraqis from their dark brooding on Islam into the welcoming light and power of our creator and heavenly Lord God, Jesus Christ who will return to this world to light the torch of freedom and democracy in every land!
Don’t they remember how every third world country that needed the money I was going to give them wept with me on the altar of liberty? How I sent public affairs representatives among them with banker’s notes to convince them of the sanctity of our divine mission? I came before them and took the powers necessary to guard the liberty and property of Iraqis everywhere that had been robbed by Sadam Hussein.
This press has turned on me and told how my Vice President’s business interest Halliburton supplied vehicles and materials to the armed forces in Iraq that have been ‘lost’ remaining forever only on paper.
Deliveries from ESSI – my Uncle John’s company – of air conditioning equipment, power generators, water purification equipment, refrigerators, aircraft loading equipment, software and all of the other material necessary to operate in the desert and to protect our Homeland just happened to disappear into the air they say. They cry out like puppies calling for evidence that these items were delivered – they don’t stop there – they want evidence that these items were ever built in Missouri in the first place!
They talk about how I planned with Vice President Cheney and my Uncle over at the Riggs Bank along with people from Enron and other oil and gas companies to invade and conquer Iraq and take their oil and gas – to manipulate world oil prices and send them into confusion while we reaped profit after profit. They say these things even though by Presidential decree I have forbidden discussion about who was on the Energy Task Force and what they talke about.
They talk about how I convinced smaller nations that need our support and military power to protect them – like Poland and others – to send soldiers and equipment to Iraq and then do nothing to help their economies. They cry out about how oil and gas interests in England have worked hand in hand with my administration to regain territory for the failed British Empire in Iraq by allowing them to occupy that part of Iraq they had to abandon nearly 50 years ago following World War II.
Oh, well, let them speak against me if they like; it satisfies me to know that I was smarter than those guys I went to college with who thought I was so dumb. It pleases me to know that I have taken revenge on the Catholic Church for what it did to my grandfather, Prescott Bush when it became known he helped found Planned Parenthood and believed in not only legal abortion but encouraging it. I taught them all a lesson they won’t soon forget. Thousands of priests accused of charges they can’t fight in court and a setup like the ‘Immorality Trials’ of the 1930’s run by the Nazis would have made my grandfather, Prescott Bush proud.
I even got to see the Pope twice. I even sent Dick Cheney to give him a little crystal trophy. Ha! What do I care if those papists don’t have the clear vision of God and Jesus Christ that I do. Everyone knows the Pope is the devil in disguise and I pulled the devil’s tail!
"They were some of the first to support me"
These bothersome correspondents and free thinkers! These UN Ambassadors from every third nation! These tongue wagging American-born traitorous bureaucrats! These Catholic Protestant wanna’ be’s – These pigeons are always talking about something. They preach about how I ruled in Texas for 8 years not as a servant of the people but as a little king - sovereign over a dustbowl state dependent on Federal Government handouts in farm loan payments, military base construction, lax border security to allow low cost labor to cross the border from Mexico, an 80% smuggling rate across the border in most commodities, a wide open passage for drugs to flood into this country. All this they note happened while my own father walked the halls of Washington DC during his own reign. All this they note took place while my own brother ran amuck in Florida politics and my other brother drained the Savings and Loan industry of its financial life blood – dooming hundreds of thousands of Americans to poverty and pain.
I ruled then in Texas a domain second only in size to Alaska in the United States. Larger than some independent nations. My family and I ruled it as I rule Iraq today - in an absolute fashion, irresponsible, above the law; trampling the agreements made by the ‘coalition of the willing’ and making a mockery of United Nations’ charters to secure peace and prosperity. We have been barring all foreign trade except for that which involves in some way and is dominated by companies that my family or friends have a financial interest in. We restrict commerce to ourselves, through companies who are my personal pets or partners; we hold the country as my personal property while our puppets – taken from the army and sadists we defeated, run the daily activities that bring us so much cash. The whole of the flow of money coming out of Iraq is ultimately mine, only mine. I rule and hold millions of people as my slaves; their labor is mine, with or without wage or paid with or without internationally recognized currency, with or without banks; the food I allow to be brought to them is mine; the oil, the gas, the minerals and all the other riches of the nation are mine forever and always. The men, the women and the little children under compulsion of bunker busters, humvees, heavy caliber machine guns, land mines, howitzers, small arms, rockets and missiles obey me and my call to law and freedom and honor and worship of almighty God and Father and his blessed, holy son Jesus Christ, son of Mary, and son of God!
These insects! -- They haven’t avoided telling anything? They reveal these and other details daily which shame and dishonor to the holy Republican Conservative Church of Faith should have kept them quiet. They are blaspheming their king and elected heir to the throne of God on earth. They should know as my followers do that I am a king, a sacred person and immune from such reproach. It is by right of selection and appointment to this great office by God himself; a President and king whose acts cannot be criticized without being blasphemy. God himself has judged that I shall rule from the beginning of all time and has manifested my office with the power to do these things. Our most holy Lord and God of Power and Might does not show disapproval of them. There are no signs to tell me to quit and do otherwise. In fact – the grip of religious bodies and my followers on the Federal, State and Local Governments continues unhampered. If any problem arises the Lord God has seen fit to give me a Supreme Court to mollify and set right the fever brows of those that would dare, in the name of Satan and evil doers, to bar my way. I am not hampered nor interrupted by them in any way – and so – because of this lack of restraint it is my duty to be unrestrained as is the will of God which has been made known to me in these end times and these the end days when the work of the government will be good and will be done by and by. By these signs and his silence I recognize his approval of what I have done, what I am doing and what I will do, so help me God.
Blessed on the earth and in the heavens with this great reward, this golden opportunity, this unspeakably precious office over the people of the United States, Iraq, our brothers in Mexico, our Cuban children in Florida, the wise men of Communist China and my good friends in Russia, why should I care about the cursing and reviling of me by men and women? [With a sudden burst of glee] May they burn a million years in -- [Catches his breath and kisses the photo of Billy Graham; sorrowfully mumbles, "I shall be punished yet, with this foul language I utter."]
"They only talk against me."
Yes, they go on and on telling everything they know! They tell how I have relatives in nearly every aspect of the work necessary to carry out ‘Homeland Security’. They tell about my Attorney General from Missouri, where most of these bogus machines come from – they tell how he makes up songs and has his staff sing along with him every morning. They tell about how the people I am clearing saving in the eyes of God fight to the death nearly every day against our soldiers. They tell about our soldiers doing house to house searches and bashing down doors with their heavy boots. They tell about the filth and sewage running in the streets of Baghdad. They talk about the loss of life. The loss of prestige. They talk about the lack of electrical power, clean water, food, medicine. They chatter about the sadistic brutality and perverted sexual behavior of the guards that God and Don Rumsfeld have seen fit to put into this battle with the devil and cure him with shame and torture!
The people of Iraq and the greater area in Afghanistan are dying of hunger, sickness, despair, and exhausting labor in the drug fields just as they always have only at a much higher pitch of violence and sorrow. They work and live without rest, and forsake their homes and flee to the woods to escape mortar shells and unfriendly men and women that joined the military to get money for education or to buy a home and found themselves joined to a conquering and marauding army. The first American Army of its kind in the history of the world. Instigated and directed by my bureaucrats who spend their lives behind desks barking orders. They hunt them down and butcher anyone that raises a hand against them and burn their villages and homes in retaliation or to restore an order that never existed. They live in a world which clearly my army must destroy to save. It must die in order to live again. It is so clear in the scriptures and yet these newspapermen who have not been trained at the holy universities run by Christian Republicans can’t seem to understand that. They spill it all: how I am dividing a divided nation both here an in Iraq – a nation cobbled together by the retreating British. They talk about our friendless creatures who work at the CIA and how they have such a difficult life making life difficult for others and easy for homegrown corporations.
They never admit but clearly they know it, that I have labored in the cause of faith with religion at the same time and all the time under God and through his divine will. I have sent these soldiers there along with CIA operatives, American Quality Bureaucrats, salesmen and third world truck drivers to act as missionaries of God and to deliver their faith to them. The faith that they have lost in a fog of evil leaders and lost time. They neglect to admit that I have come to the nation and to Iraq and Afghanistan and even the world to teach them the errors of their way of life and bring them, either alive or dead, to His feet, who is all love and mercy, combined in the arms of democracy, liberty and freedom, and who is the tireless warrior and helper of all. They speak only against me and never talk about my great work nor the true business of government ruled in faith and rooted in democracy, freedom, liberty, discipline and an unwavering resolve to do spread our way of life to the world.
They tell how England lent me their army and how they have been accused of their own atrocities. They talk about how that meddling country has taken oil mandates of its own on the land it controls. They talk about how I have allowed unfettered access to Alaskan oil, 80% control of Wyoming oil and unprecedented expansion of British business interests in the United States in exchange for the lend of the blood of their soldiers in this – the war of Christ against darkness.
When the UN sent a delegation to work in Iraq did that stop them from talking? No, they merely pointed out that the UN withdrew after they were attacked across Iraq and many of their workers were killed.
And were the fault-finders open with my character? They could not be more so if I were a peasant or a welfare mother. They remind everyone that from the earliest days my house has seen a flood of alcohol, drugs, larceny, legal actions, cross purpose business actions and all industries working full time.
They have shown images of me publicly drunken, have mentioned that used cocaine, that my wife committed manslaughter, that my brother was convicted of bank fraud, that my grandfather’s assets were seized because he was doing business with the Nazis while soldiers were dying the battlefield, that my father wrote a book about the evils of third world birth rates, that I have close personal ties to Communist China, that my father was the head of the CIA and that I spend little time with my immediate family and my daughters have been raised almost alone in their bizarre world of ease and luxury, that my niece is a convicted drug addict, that members of my family seem to change their religion as often as others change their socks.
Do they speak of the good work that I do for faith and Christ? No, they don’t. They prefer to talk about the elementary school incident while I continued to read a child’s story book as the World Trade Center burned and fell to the ground. They point out object lessons, whose purpose is to make believes in Christ shudder, and turn them against me. They remark that if the jobs lost during the Bush Administration were calculated together and set against the savings that I claim to have given back to the people in tax breaks that we would find a deficit and that the tax breaks have caused, along with NAFTA, a net loss of American jobs and given a crushing blow to the wealth and health of our nation. By God, it wears me out! They perform similar tricks with the money I have distilled from this business in Iraq and Afghanistan and the threat of terrorism in the United States. All that blood and failure has been put into my pocket and marked to my expense. They talk about the tears I have caused, the hearts I have broken – they just won’t shut up!
[Pauses to think] Well ... no matter, I did beat those eastern lawyer sharps anyway. It helps to be one myself.
[He paused to read the Homeland Security Act]
Possibly the Americans would like to take that back, now, but they have already found my agents are not in every State Governor’s office for nothing. There is no danger because as we all know there hasn’t been a government yet that can afford to confess a blunder. I’ve got them by the short hairs and they know it.
[He reads some of the remarks made by Senators and Representatives of late and how they freely admit they would never have voted to go to war nor for the Homeland Security Act if they knew then what they know now.]
[With evil glee] Yes, I certainly was a shade too clever for my Yankee brothers! It hurts them; it rips them up. They can't get over it and they vent their frustration by calling me stupid! It puts shame on them in another way too, and far worse; for they can never get rid of the fact that their vain Republican and self-appointed Champion and Promoter of the Liberties of the World, has succeeded in lending its power and influence to the establishing of an absolute dictatorships in the United States, Iraq and Afghanistan!
"They go to them with their wants and needs"
[Thinking about, with an angry, red eye, a pile of magazines, newspapers and pamphlets] Damn the meddlesome do gooders! They write tons of these reports. They seem to be everywhere- eye-balling the doings; and they write everything down. They prowl from place to place; talking to anyone that will listen or offer up information and Americans consider them their only friends. They write to them with their problems. They show mortgages that have been lost, houses gone, jobs wiped out, the coffins of their soldier kin, the burned villages, the destroyed cities, the sewage in the streets, the boredom, the heat, the flies, the filth, the disease, the inconsistency, the cheats and the liars.
That is their way; they ask questions and never remain silent for long. Their tongues wag night and day, day and night. They run into print every foolish little tail. And the French and the Germans and the Spanish and the Portuguese and the Brazilians and the Cubans and the Mexicans and the Austrians and the Indians and the Nicaraguans and the Canadians and the whole dastardly bunch at the UN are just like them. They get hold of a few photographs made by my soldiers and, even though they are top secret government property and intended for no eye but Donald Rumsfeld and myself and maybe my daughters they are copied and printed around the world.
It is most amazing, the way that that these men and women act! He just said that just because I say things are so doesn’t make them that way! Can you imagine the haughtiness of this man who would put his words before those of God and his government on earth?
This man is fond of little things – jobs, houses, mortgages, child mortality – what are these things in the end of times? God has made it clear through his prophets in England, Texas and Upstate New York that the end of times and the return of Jesus Christ to earth are preceded by bad times – bad economic news – loss of jobs – a stock market out of control – terrorists and terrorism – all this bad news to the man on the street is Good News to the servants of God and the Republican Christians whom God has placed in charge of this nation. All this means is that the time for Jesus Christ to return is coming close upon us. We owe it to the people and to our God to make things as badly as we can and to bear up with the consequences – it’s how God wants us to live.
Look at the Good News – unemployment up! Stocks up! Government payments out to farmers and purchases up! Durable goods production down! Abortion rate up! Birth rate down!
Very well, we have been liberal with the armed forces It was not much short of enough to pay for food and clothing for a family of three for each soldier It suits these men and women to belittle what we are doing, yet they know very well that I could have the army for nothing. They would work gladly if only given the opportunity to fight and destroy the enemy. Right now I give them that through God and money to buy supplies.
One of my writers observes: "Other Christian rulers tax their people, but furnish schools, courts of law, roads, light, water and protection to life and limb in return; President Bush taxes his stolen nation, but provides nothing in return but hunger, terror, grief, shame, captivity, loss of jobs, and no medical coverage."
That is how they speak! I furnish "nothing"? I send the gospel to the nation! To the world! These people know it, but they would rather be locked away in jail and tortured than mention it. I have several times required my people to give the enemy an opportunity to come and join us in freedom and liberty and drop their notions of independence and abandon their way of thought for ours; and when they obey me I without doubt save many souls. None of my detractors have had the fairness to mention this; but let it pass; God has not overlooked it, He told me so, and that is my grace, that is my faith.
Another item we see! – deviant sexual behavior! They report cases of it frequently. They feature pictures of the acts in Abu Ghraib prison and ask us to imagine what went on unseen in Afghanistan and in the dog pens in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba. They point out the sexually deviant behavior and incestuous population of Saudi Arabia. They point at me when they talk about pregnant soldiers playing with the penises of captives. They point at me when the talk about how Donald Rumsfeld made all this possible. They point at me when our soldiers are shot and killed in the streets of a far away land.
My accusers do not forget to remark that, inasmuch as I am the messenger of God and have absolute power on the earth with a word can prevent in the world anything I choose to prevent. They point out that whatever is done there with my permission is my act, my personal act; that I do it myself. That the hand of my pregnant female soldier massaging the penis of a frightened, dirty, smelly prisoner is truly my hand as if it were attached to my own arm; and so they picture me in my robes of state, with my feet on my desk, surrounded by quivering and cowering men, women and children and giving thanks to Him from whom all good things come.
When the soft-hearts get hold of a thing like those photographs they completely lose their composure. They speak profanely and curse Heaven for allowing such a fiend to rule. Meaning me. They think it irregular and review the laws of election and the career of my good friend Scalia on the Supreme Court. They go whispering around, worrying over the reduction of American strength and influence, the loss of business opportunities, the continued confusion between church and state, the infiltration of every level of government with cheating business people and then they burst out and call me "the only President that was never elected." They call me a "mistake”, a “bumbler”, an “idiot,” a “traitor."
They can’t keep quiet when my name is mentioned any more than can lit stick of dynamite.
It’s a wonder none of them have estimated the earning my family and the families of my friends and my father’s cronies have made in the past few years.
It is all the same old thing -- tedious repeats of episodes; government corruption, fraud, theft, greed, murder, war, hunger, lost jobs, bad trade agreements and so on so on, till one falls asleep listening to it.
This Moore is a working man’s son and reverence for me should have restrained him from writing and reporting about me. This Moore is a reformer; an American reformer. That puts the label on him. Hangs it around his neck. He makes a movie and writes books - which are bought up by the sap-headed and the soft-hearted.
I will suppress him. I suppressed several books and articles already, it should not be difficult for me to suppress a movie.
Slanders, lies, inventions of busy-bodies and Americans that just won’t quit. Exasperated foreigners who found their homes turned into a ‘sea of blood’. We used to get the Christian nations everywhere to turn an irritated and unbelieving ear to these horrid tales and say bad things about the writers and speakers. Yes, everything was going great in those good old days in Vietnam. My family was looked up to as the benefactor of a down-trodden and friendless people who needed help to achieve freedom and liberty under God. Then all of a sudden it happened! That is to say, the incorruptible polaroid -- and all the harmony went to hell in a hand basket! The only witness I have encountered in my long experience that I couldn't bribe. Every Yankee missionary and newspaper and photographer sent home got one; and now -- oh, well, the pictures are around everywhere, in spite of all we can do to tear them up and suppress them. Ten thousand pulpits and ten thousand presses are saying the good word for me and placidly denying the accusations. Then that trivial little camera, and the children torturing their captives knocks them dead!
It seems strange to see a President destroying a nation and laying waste a country just to make money. But in the name of God the people will allow it to happen and will help me achieve my goals!
Lust of conquest has a long history. Kings always exercised that vice; we are used to it, and by old habit we condone it, perceiving a certain dignity in it; but lust of money -- lust of dollars -- lust of nickels -- lust of filthy, bloody cash, not for the nation for the President’s family, friends and his father’s cronies only -- this is new and sordid. It revolts us, we cannot reconcile ourselves to it, we resent it, we despise it, we say it is shabby, out of character. Being Americans we ought to jeer and jest, we ought to rejoice to see the righteous upstart dragged in the dirt, but but, we don't. We see this awful President, this pitiless and blood-drenched bureaucrat, this money-crazy businessman towering toward the sky in a world-solitude of sordid crime, without friends and apart from the human race, sole pillager for personal gain, found amongst his kind – alone out of all them both ancient or modern, pagan or Christian, he is the proper and legitimate target for the scorn of the richest and poorest, he deserves the cursess of all who hold in lowest esteem the oppressor and the coward. It is a sorrow and we do not wish to look; for he is a President, and it pains us, it is a trouble to us, it shames us to see a President degraded to this aspect, and we back away from hearing the particulars of how it has been allowed to happen. We shudder and turn away when we come upon them in print
And that is his protection - and he knows it. He knows the human race.
"To them it must appear very awful and mysterious."
--Joseph Conrad