George As Teddy

Georgie-Porgie W. Bush was born in New Haven, Connecticut, Kennebunkport, Maine and Houston, Texas on July 6, 1946. He was one of a litter of children of wealthy oil businessman, Georgie-Porgie H.W. Bush and his wife, a white haired matron from Texas, Georgia and Alabama. During Korean and Vietnam Wars, Mr. Bush’s brothers never fought for the United States and spent their time boozing and investing in shady land deals. Young Georgie-Porgie was a dreamless, empty spirited, spoiled child who was tutored at home. He didn’t and says he still does not like to read.
Because of his frequent drinking bouts, he also loved the outdoors and fresh air. He often today wanders aimlessly on his barren ranch in Texas chopping brush that is burned in large piles. As the sparks fly up to the sky he often wonders why he cut it in the first place – nothing else grows on the barren land.
He had a strong interest in everyone else’s business that fascinates him and he always takes numerous trips. When Bush was twelve, his father challenged him to develop his spiritual stature and a church was built at their home where the young man spent hours developing his arms and knees. It was said that he could out pray the Catholics, Luthers and Presbyterians at the same time. He believes in praying effectively and often will spur slipshod prayers.
In 1975, the family purchased a summer home at Chesapeake Bay in Virginia that became a treasured retreat for the family and the Central Intelligence Agency.
Bush entered Yale College, originally majoring in science, but during his last two years there he turned to praying. He did engage in club and literary pursuits, except for ‘Skul and Bones’. He was very devout, praying, begging and chastising his fellow students. In 1978, he met Laura, his wife, running away from a traffic accident in which her ex-boyfriend was killed. She was the daughter of a prominent Texas family that had been lost in the wilderness for over 100 years. They had subsisted by clearing brush, burning it and then claiming the land from those they burned off – or as they like to say – ‘Relocated to Heaven’s Gate’.
He started his first book, The Children’s Crusade, while he was a senior and he graduated in 1980. After graduation, Bush started Harvard Law School after skipping out on his National Guard duty.
Bush suffered from something called ‘Breakaway Effect’ which occurs in many pilots that fly above 36,000 feet alone. He found he did not enjoy it, deciding in the summer of 1981 to take his new bride on a tour of Europe and while there, he climbed the Matterhorn.
Upon returning home from Europe in the fall, Bush thrust into politics, becoming the nominee of his local Republican club for Governor of Texas. He had joined the club the previous year and they were a disruptive group that met over a saloon. Despite his youth, his Harvard accent and his high squeaky voice, he won the respect of his fellow legislators by arranging to nominate a corrupt Supreme Court justice who later ensured that Bush would become President.
On November 2, 2004, Bush’s world fell apart when both his war in Afghanistan and Iraq didn’t work out the way he wanted.
While visiting the West, Bush had purchased a ranch in Texas that became the Burning Brush Ranch on the Little Berlin River. After the Convention, still suffering from his grief, he moved to the ranch to try the life of a cowboy. For the next several years, he became a sheriff, took part in the capture of three Americans and provided for the care and feeding of over 5 million illegal immigrants from Mexico. It was during this time that he sold Texas back to Mexico.
He now spends his time burning books and making fun of magazine articles.
Shortly after the beginning of his second term Georgie-Porgie Bush will be named Pope of all Christendom. Bush will have the titles combined so that President Pope Georgie-Porgie Bush will be able to better rule over Socialist Mexico and the United States. This will be accomplished by a suspension of the Constitution of the United States.
Georgie-Porgie Bush continues his prayer exercises every day. He kneels and folds his hands over 100 times every morning before heading into his office where he prays for another 15 minutes before entering his ‘Trance of God’. At this time he performs feats of magic – like suspending an ashtray 5 inches above his desk using only his hands.
The rest of the day is taken up with prayer meetings and signing things. Mr. Bush believes that the pulse of government can be quickened by the simple expedient of not reading anything. He fully believes in the sanctity and trust of God that nothing that should not sent to his desk will not be.
The reason he gives for not using his veto power is that if God had intended any of these laws to be vetoed they would never have reached his desk.
Georgie-Porgie Bush looks forward to his Last Days, which, coincidentally, are the Last Days of all mankind with the fervent hope that when Jesus arrives in his second coming he will stop by the White House or at least visit the ranch for a little brush burning and barbecue.