Living With Chickens

Picking on others is what makes a Republican Representative a Republican Representative.
From the time they are elected Republican Representatives know how to use their hands to grab money and spend it. Perhaps because their own constituents and those of their cronies look something like suckers corruption is sometimes a problem during the first term.
The potential for the problem does not go away during the second or third time – as can be seen with DeLay. The head, neck and the pockets are the first spots that Republican Representatives will try to pick on their cronies under certain cirumstances. The results can become bloody in a very short time.
If you notice money missing from your local community it could be incompetence, or that Tom DeLay has been on their back doing his ‘job’. If you suspect corruption, however, there are a couple of things you can try.
The reason for corruption can be related to cash flow of the Republican Representative, lack of content in their thinking, religious fanaticism and the stress of being just another Conservative in an overcrowded field.
In the end, however, corruption can be traced to boredom. To say that a Republican Representative is bored may seem strange – but Republican Representatives started out as Americans and so are prone to be curious, active and industrious.
During a normal day in Washington, DC, they might read, write, fold things, put things in their drawers, take them out again, answer the phone and sometimes talk on it.
When they are confined to their seat in Congress however with more than 300 cellmates and nothing to talk about except what they are told to discuss by Tom DeLay, you could imagine that they will be led to fill their time with whatever diversion they can find.
To help reduce the possibility of corruption in your Republican Representative let it get out as much as possible. Take it around to local garbage dumps, hospitals, schools, have them look at your roadways, waste treatment plants, waterways, land and take samples of the air.
Have them learn a little science and give them books other than the Bible to read – many of them don’t live by it anyway.
If you can find a particular offender or ringleader, remove it to solitary confinement or the stew pot – though, I’ll tell you now – they don’t make good eating.
Provide toys to your Republican Representative. Many of them can read english and can recognize shapes in photographs. Send them pictures of the soldiers who have been killed or wounded from your State. Have them look at pictures of the mansions that many farmers live in while many of their constituents have to get food stamps to live.
Have them visit your local plastic surgeon to say hello to their friends and then bring them over to the local hospital where children are turned away or over to the charity of the Shriners because they have no insurance.
Republican Representatives like to reach beyond their means, pick on others and shread just about anything that comes near them. Use these talents for good and you will get your money’s worth out of your Republican Representative for sure.
If this doesn’t solve the corruption problem you have some other options.
There are a number of devices you can attach to your Republican Representative and though most can only be attached after a lengthy trial and a guilty verdict, they might be worthwhile in your instance.
One device attaches to the ankle by a chain and carries with it a large iron ball.
You can put clothes on them to camouflage them from the cash rich special interests – these clothes usually come in alternating stripes of black and white. In the more southerly states a preference for bright orange has been used to great advantage when dealing with Republican Representatives.
Rose colored glasses also do very well. Especially those that are colored green. You see – the flash of green will often drive a Republican Representative to wild abandon. They are capable of anything – approving a drug that is dangerous for example. The green glasses make it more difficult for your Republican Representative to distinguish between the cash flashed at them and the letters that you write to them. It’s not a great solution – but it certainly will work in your favor.
A simple way to deal with this is to put a red light in front of a picture of Tom DeLay in your Republican Representatives office. Some of the Representatives may be attracted to the red light – but this will only help you in finding out what kind of Representative you really have.
There are also ointments and preparations that you can put on special interest bills that will make them taste terrible to your Republican Representative. This is also a good way to showing you what kind of Representative you have as well. For example – by placing a sticky substance on legislation that would cost you money or cause hurt in your area – you will be able to see if your Representative tried to consume it. This is also a good way to gather a bunch of bad ones at once – sort of like using fly paper.
Certain states allow electronic voting machines and these computers have been used by some organizations to ‘stack the deck’ and pollute entire flocks of legislators with the wrong kind of Republican Representatives that we have been discussing.
The best way to deal with that particular threat is to pull the plug on the gambling industry in your state – the industry that manufactures, distributes and sells those machines.
A drastic measure, but one that will be sure to work – is to vote them out of office.